OP-ED: In Which We Read The Bravest Article Ever Written And Found Nothing Inside It
Filed under: Courage, Adjacent To
Satire · This piece uses humor and exaggeration. It should not be read as factual reporting.
To'hajiilee opens by declaring a "blatant violation of journalistic integrity." Bold. Load-bearing. The kind of headline that implies a second sentence. Instead we get: the firm is "not interested in getting directly involved." -- A fire alarm, followed immediately by a memo clarifying the alarm is not an invitation to leave the building.
"Certain events have transpired." Which ones? it reads like a horoscope, that is, true on any day in history and free to write. Reporting means: this happened, here's who, here's how we know. Everything else is weather, or the match happening in Redmont since 2019 and is still currently tied.
The outsourced claim. The article's central move is pointing readers at someone else's statement "for your own knowledge as citizens." That's a newspaper handing you a map to a different newspaper that might. If the Network's statement is accurate, print it and stand behind it. What you can't do is cite it as grounds for a formal editorial position while never saying what it alleges -- so that if it collapses, To'hajiilee was merely recommending some reading.
"do the right thing even if everything is destroyed as a result" is a hell of a closer. It is a sentence about accepting consequences. You can't fucking deploy it in the same document where you explain that you're staying out of it for the sake of the firm.
We look forward to To'hajiilee's next piece, hopefully starting with an apology.
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