The Far Right & Far Left Unite In Support of Forever Wars

A strong pro-war sentiment has started rumbling amongst TFC and UJP members, and while we're not surprised they want to start a war, we are surprised at the fact that it isn't a civil war.

In fact, Redshi, a prediction market headquartered in Oakridge prior to the briefings predicted an 82% chance of a civil war between the 2 parties by the end of 2026. Analysts called it one of the surest bets, only second to End running for president and losing.

That's now standing at just a measly 3% chance. This poses the obvious question of what could possibly be uniting these 2 parties. An insider we spoke to mumbled something about the deepslate, then asked if we would give him some alcohol. Apparently the deepslate has bought off the 2 parties at a great deal, where the deal was finalized we can only speculate, though some say it was done at Vernicia's, which is why the deepslate got a great deal. (Not an ad.)

The deepslate instructed them to start a forever war with Alexandria, which is conveniently in the middle of the land to the east of us. A geographic location leaders assure us is not a red flag.

Experts say that this war (though they said military operation in place of war, so we'll be adjusting to that wording) will cause an influx of factory jobs, when asked what will be produced, they noted that it could be anything from knives to nuclear weapons which may be used for the military operation.

For an expert analysis we interviewed Gary, my coworker, who is an expert because he was looking at spreadsheets at his desk. He noted that while this military operation would be incredibly profitable for redmont.wtf, it would also cause property values to tank, and for his investment portfolio to crash.

After carefully weighing the deaths of thousands in a forced draft (as well as, of course, the casualties on Alexandria's side, whom we are told count for less but still count), we stand definitively against the military operation. Gary's portfolio simply cannot take another hit. He has kids. Well, a penthouse. He has a penthouse.