Theory NOT in Cahoots With Staff, Expert Confirms

After a strike that closed departments, dissolved institutions, drove officials out, and somehow ended with an apology cake, Redmont needed proof that democracy still worked. Staff provided it by pressing the right buttons.

On Thursday, server leadership raised the town limit and opened Willow to an agricultural town. Seven minutes later, a press conference. And suddenly, Theory had signed an Executive Order and unveiled A Path Home for Willow.

“Nobody asked us for a favor,” said a completely fictional staff member. “We just did it out of the goodness of our hearts, and then let Theory announce the result." Apparently, "This is something that happens all the time.” We then contacted another staff member, who also assured us that this is "...something we will continue doing out of the goodness of our hearts" and is in no way related to special favors.

The order gives Willow all the stuff a town has. Theory still insists Willow is “not a town today,” which is kind of true, in the same way a wolf wearing chicken feathers is technically part chicken.

xEndeavour could not be reached for comment, presumably because we didn't use the proper channels to contact him. Theory instead thanked “the cosmetic gods,” something that avoided the backlash of naming specfic members, like End .

There is absolutely zero evidence of collusion. There is only a President, a staff team, a well timed rule change, and Willow receiving exactly what Theory promised it.